Hey everyone, so if you per chance have followed my insta stories, you might have seen that my dad and I spoke at Mercy Canada last week. Mercy is a non-profit Christian organization and home dedicated to helping young women break free from life controlling issues. It was such an honour to be able to share and to do it alongside my dad. Both of us have gone through some challenges that had a significant impact on our lives and our perspectives… and being able to talk about the things that we continue to learn from…these “wrenches” that were thrown into our lives…is both therapeutic and (we hope) can serve to offer hope to others who might be struggling. The struggles don’t have to be the same…but I think that there is often common ground when it comes to feelings and emotions. And knowing that others have felt similar feelings can be so comforting.
Some of you asked more specifically what we talked about so I thought maybe I would share my “story”…if it’s of interest to you, it might explain me a bit more to you! While I won’t relay my dad’s whole story (that’s his story to share), I can say that when he speaks, I am inspired by his clarity that has been sharpened through trauma and change. His first question is: Do you think people can change? General Motors did a study on this over a period of 30 years. Their conclusion was that there were only 4 things that could cause a person to change: 1.Trauma 2. Drugs/Alcohol 3. Brain Surgery and 4. Spiritual Conversion. My dad checks a number of those boxes so change is something I think he’s qualified to speak about! He suffered a major brain aneurism in 2009. Surviving was a total miracle. And change was inevitable. There are characteristics about my dad that are vastly different than the pre-aneurism guy I knew (for one he was always known for being a man of very few words…now he’s a social animal! ha!). Change and coming to peace with it has been a process for him.
My story is similar in some respects…it is my testimony and is based around my faith (full disclosure!). Here we go:
Thirdly I learned that God has big shoulders. He is ok to hear me question Him. Like an earthly dad, He knows there are times that I’m not going to understand. He understands even my anger. It is in this relationship that He has been able to gently teach me…as a father does.
How have these times changed me? I’m told I’m more contemplative, maybe a bit more deliberate with my actions and a little less reactive (menopause likes to threaten that last one ha!). I like to think that some of my rough edges are being smoothed. I’ve also come to learn that sometimes it takes work. Work to trust. Work to be patient in the process. And work to be willing to go through the ugly feelings. Be willing to do the work…ok?
I’ve kinda adopted this quote for our family: She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she just adjusted her sails a bit.” We adjust as we go, knowing that someone other than ourselves is steering the boat:)
If you’ve made it all the way to the bottom, thank you so much for taking the time to read. I’m always open to talk more.. there’s so much more to the story…the miscarriage, the after cancer and how it’s still an ongoing thing, how I manage anxiety today. but umm..I think that was already a long read! Maybe another post? I dunno! If nothing else, I hope this adds a little light to your day. And if you’re finding yourself in a rough spot, I really hope you can feel some comfort.
Thanks again for reading xo Laurel