Change of Life


So, Laurel and I have been on the same wavelength this week.  We are getting real about stuff!  I’ve been debating for a while about bringing up this topic.  Not everyone who reads our blog will be able to relate. But I’m going to give it a go anyways so please bear with me.

I am in my mid-forties, 44 next week to be exact, and things are changing…in every area of my life it seems!

Berkeley, our oldest, got her licence just over two weeks ago.  What a life changer that is and I’m super grateful for it.  But the first day that she and Dylan came home from dance driving on their own, the comment was, “We could talk about anything on the way home and YOU didn’t hear it!”   After driving my kids pretty much everywhere for 17 years, that stung a bit.  I know that Berkeley is enjoying some long awaited freedom (with graduated licensing in our province, you can’t drive without a parent until you are at least 17), and that it is normal to want to be independent.  But, because Berkeley and Dylan pretty much have the same dance schedule, Dylan is also enjoying this freedom earlier than her sister and now I have some…..wait for it….time.  And that’s a wonderful thing as I can now spend more time with Mac and Jason. But, it’s still a shift to get used to.

And man, my body is just plain weird right now.  My skin is changing texture and wrinkles are becoming more prominent…oh yah…and there’s that thing called sun damage.  Eeks….all those hours in the sun are coming back to haunt me.  Sleep doesn’t come as easily as it used to.  Any opportunity I used to get to sleep in was taken advantage of and, now, I often wake up before my alarm clock…what the heck?!  I feel like I can just look at a brownie and I may as well staple it to my thighs.  And the cravings….nuts, peanut butter, chocolate…and once I start with sugar, watch out!  I think I’m, ughhhh, I don’t like the word….premenopausal.  Ok, it’s out there.  And I don’t like the stereotypical things that come along with that.

I can have a lot of balls in the air…lots of projects on the go.  I can organize the kids crazy schedules and ensure everyone gets to where they need to be…my kids actually call me the “momager”.  But I have little energy left after that is all accomplished. Don’t come to me for sympathy…I don’t have any emotional energy or patience left for that.  And there have been comments made around here about my “hormonal moods”…ugh.  I feel like I can get the details of the day all worked out, but there’s nothing left in the tank for emotional stuff.  In fact, in general I just don’t have the energy that I used to…and it bothers me.

Ok, that all sounds super negative.  This changing time isn’t all bad.  I can see a lot of positives…I can ease up a little and not run at quite such a frantic pace.  I will have more time with Jason…we can actually do “couple” things and travel more, which I love!  I can watch the kids start to spread their wings and get ready to be launched from the nest.  Hey, my job was to prepare them for that!  I can spend more time with friends.  I can do more active things…walks, hikes, barre class.  And I can focus more on the blog.  So it’s not all bad.  In fact, my mother-in-law just told me that her favorite years were from 45-50, and I’m determined to enjoy them!

Here’s the deal…I know that this changing phase of my life is going to last a number of years.  Mac is almost 13, Dylan is 15 and Berks is 17….so we have several years still that the kids will be transitioning from kids to adults.  And physically and emotionally, I likely have a few years of changes ahead of me.  So, I’d love to talk about how to deal with these changes with grace and strength. I’m not going down, and I want to do these years well…with joy!  So tell me what’s been helpful for you dealing with life changes?  What’s worked and what hasn’t?Have you changed your diet?  What’s worked?  Have you taken supplements?  What do you do for exercise?  I’d love to also hear from those “on the other side”. There is so much wisdom to be gained from others that have been through it.  So ladies, let’s help each other and start talking about this!